The Enemy Inside

She was already at the party when he arrived and her eyes brightened as he entered the room. "Hello everyone," he said...followed by a special hello for her.She returned his special hello and then watched as others returned his greeting. One by one, the beautiful women in the room responded to his hello...with intimategreetings of their own. Their use of his special title...the role he played in her life only...left her feeling like she wanted to disappear. It was at that pointthat she excused herself from the room...running...trying to calm down and to squelch the petty feelings inside of her. Why was she jealous? Was it because she felt as though she was not pleasing to him? He reassured her constantly. He told her how beautiful she is to him...how happy she makes him. Is it her own guiltthat is making her feel this way? She certainly had enough guilt...so many other responsibilities had jumped in front of her service to him lately and she really did feel guilty.She had tried to talk to him about it but could not find the words. She wanted to scream...she wanted to hide from her failures...but instead returned to the room.
The party continued and she could hear the conversation, the laughter but was losing herself inside her head. One of the other gentlemen in the room was telling with pride a story about his girl. The thoughts began to swirl around in a circle...irrationally...until she was left with one thought...I don't make him proud. Why would he be proud to own me? And the tears flowed as she struggled to breath.When she felt able to speak again, she offered excuses for her absence from the room. She tried to pretend everything was okay...until suddenly the words found their way out of her head....and before she knew it....out of her mouth. The look of anger...followed by hurt...that crossed his face felt like a knife entering her."I'm going now," he said. "I love you." And he was gone.
She was left with herself...the most dangerous of her enemies. And this time....the enemy inside herself won.